Monday, November 14, 2005

Assholes in the news.

Actually, it's only one asshole, but he's all over the news these days. Whose that asshole? Why that'd be George W. Bush, the Asshat-in-Chief. Or is that asshole...?

Anyway, in a sudden, unexplainable and painfully tardy burst of critical thinking, a sizeable majority of Americans have settled upon the painfully obvious conclusion that our President is basically a dunce and decided that they no longer approve of his "hard work". Yippee. The President, of course, doesn't give a shit. At least that's what little Scottie McClellan has to say in this article. According to Little Scottie, the President doesn't pay attention to these sorts of opinion polls. Why, you might ask? Well, because "You can get caught up in polls...Polls are snapshots in time."

That's right. And if you put all those little snapshots together, you can make a flip book. And if you flip through the book, you'd see this dandy scene. So yeah, out of context one little snapshot might not mean much, but goldang, taken together you suddenly get a sinking sensation.

So, imagine your a one-note wonder dry drunk asshole swinging by your foot into a rocky cliff. What do you do? The obvious choice: blame someone else.

"You dirty muthafuckas! You egged me on! You made me climb this cliff. You gave me beer. You made me leap head long off this cliff!"

Stupid fucking asshole. And a failure too.